Thursday, March 15, 2012

Face Your Loneliness - and Live Your Life to the Fullest

For sure, one of the demons Jesus faced out in the wilderness was loneliness. 

Loneliness – and how you cope with it – is an issue after 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness. 


Loneliness – and how we cope with it – is an issue for us, as well.


 All of us, at times, feel that the world has left us, and we are left alone to fight it out. 

 Quite frankly, when we isolate ourselves,
when we don’t make the connections,

when we live in solitude,

we become something less than what we were created to be,

we stunt,

we cease to grow,

we become something less than human.


The most satisfied life –
the most satisfying times of your life –

come when you do for others.

That’s what Jesus said.

That’s what Jesus did.

That’s what you and I can do.

When you do for another, you will never be alone.


Joshua 1:5-9
Matthew 28:18-20

This is the third Sunday of Lent –
Lent, you remember is this 40 days that the church sets aside to help us prepare for our Easter Sunday celebration.
Of course, these 40 days commemorate the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness prior to beginning his ministry. 
We are told that he was taken out into the wilderness and left off so he could confront his demons and prepare for what was to come.

For him it was a time for strengthening his faith –
no doubt by reflecting on his memory of scripture,
no doubt by a hyper-active prayer life,
no doubt by fasting to a point of exhaustion,
and no doubt by contemplating age-old truths that had been handed down to him through his faith community.

For sure, one of the demons Jesus faced out in the wilderness was loneliness. 

Loneliness – and how you cope with it – is an issue after 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness. 

Loneliness – and how we cope with it – is an issue for us, as well.

This feeling of loneliness has been around, probably sense the beginning of time.

The Psalmist (Psalm 22) lamented:
Dear God, right now I feel like a worm, not a person.
I feel so used by other people.
And to make it worse,
I feel resented by the very same people who use me!
Sometimes when my back is turned,
I can feel everyone making faces at me,
sneering in derision.
O God, stick close to me - I’m up to my neck in problems and all alone.
I feel like the walls are closing in around me.
And in the dark I can see starving lions ready to swallow me up and digest me into oblivion.
My strength drains away like water,
And my bones feel loose and shaken.
My heart feels like a lump of hot sticky wax melting inside my chest.
My mouth is as dry as a broken piece of clay pot,
And my tongue sticks to my jaw.
I feel trampled and beaten.

 
One writer wrote:
Even though it may have been written by King David,  today [these words] could fit a frustrated homemaker, a retired person,      an unemployed person,
a beleaguered executive, a worried union leader,
a minister or a doctor.

[Any of us here today]

All of us, at times, feel that the world has left us, and we are left alone to fight it out.

Remember, fathers can be lonely;
mothers can be lonely;
children and youth can be lonely.

Perhaps you read the devotional not too long ago:
Today, I have had another lonely day, Lord.
The one phone call I received was a wrong number.
Was there someone that needed a call from me? ...
My neighbors wave as they go about their tasks
But we seldom take time to talk ...
At church we sit in the same pews with people we do not know [very well, if at all]
Are they lonely too? ...
Our marriage has been good but sometimes I expect my husband to sense my aloneness ...
Then she wonders: Am I lonely because I am afraid to risk reaching out to an other?

To be sure, loneliness is depressing.

The Beatles sang about it:
     He’s a real Nowhere Man,
     Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
     Making all his Nowhere Plans
     for nobody.


Such emptiness, such frustration, such loneliness depresses us, doesn’t it?
But, it is very, very common in our world and in our culture today.
It may very well be a bi-product of the nesting instinct that drove so many people in the past 20 or 30 years.

After years of self-isolation with our TV rooms, internet connections, music collections,
and all those magazines and paper-back books we read,
a recent poll discovered that today, more and more people are getting out of their nests and looking for ways to connect – with one another, with other people around them, and perhaps, with their God.
And, that’s were we come in.

For, really and truly, that is what we’re about isn’t it?
That’s what this church is for –
to help people connect;
to help people connect with one another,
to help people connect with the world around us,
to help people connect with God.

Quite frankly, when we isolate ourselves,
when we don’t make the connections,
when we live in solitude,
we become something less than what we were created to be,
we stunt,
we cease to grow,
we become something less than human.

Several recent scientific studies bear this out.
One study of interest shows that twice as many white divorced males under age seventy who live alone
die from heart disease, lung cancer, and stomach cancer [than those who don’t live alone].
Three times as many men in this category die of hypertension
and seven times as many die of cirrhosis of the liver.
The study also points out that among divorced people, suicide is five times higher
and fatal car accidents four times higher.

There is cost to loneliness.

You may have heard of another study that has gotten a lot of play:
Folks in Brazil tried to do something about the alarming number of unwanted babies being abandoned in the large cities. 
The Child and Family Services built homes to care for the babies. 
They provided the finest facilities – proper temperature at all times,
excellent sanitation procedures were in place,
attention was given to physical and dietary needs
attention was given to every detail a baby needed – things that he was sure not get in the hovel from where he came.
By all accounts, the babies received excellent care.
Just one problem.
The powers that be failed to provide opportunities for physical contact. 
There was no holding, no rocking, no singing,
no touching, no playing with the babies.
And, most of the babies died before the end of their first year.

We need each other.
We need physical, and mental, and heart-felt connection with each other.
When we don’t have it, we become something less than what we were created to be.
And, we lash out at one another.
We build fences.
We fight wars.
We fail to thrive.
We die.

One researcher concludes:
Quite literally, we must either learn to live together or face the possibility of prematurely dying alone ... Cancer, tuberculosis, suicide, accidents, mental disease - all are significantly influenced by human companionship.
Nature uses many weapons to shorten the lives of lonely people.


It has become absolutely clear and certain –
so certain that physicians should write it on prescription pads:
Love is the absolute essential as we confront the world in its loneliness.
One popular  psychologist puts it:  "Love or perish." Love or perish – its that simple. 
Karl Menninger adds, "Love is the medicine for the sickness of the world."

Lesle D. Weatherhead has written a very practical approach to the cure of loneliness.
He tells us that Christ operates today not so much from the Sea of Galilee as from the Thames, the Potomac, the Hudson.
He says: Christ is where people are, where the need is.
That what we say here. 
That’s what we believe, isn’t it?

We rub shoulders with lonely folk every day.
In some we recognize it:
in some we would never guess it.
A friend recalls one of the most exuberant persons he had ever known.
He was on the staff of a well-known prep school where my friend  was teaching and coaching track.  He says,  I was amazed to discover that his wife had left him, and almost everything in his life was tragic.
The list goes on:
There are the sick ones, the disabled,
those who have lost loved ones,
 those who have nervous problems,
complexes, phobias,
those who are out of their environment,
who have moved nearby  and have not found yet their place here.
They are the ones who have not learned to bridge the gap existing between themselves and other persons.
They find themselves alone in a sea of persons.

Any of us can wake up in the dead of night with a sense of separation, uneasiness, detachment.

It could be a warning that we are on the wrong track, that we are losing contact with reality,
that we have broken with God and with people.
It could be the shock that brings us back to a shared life.
The walls we have erected between us and God separate us from others;
the walls we have erected between us and others separate us from God.

Dwelling constantly upon the loss which is behind us can become a sickness.
Turning toward the light ahead,
focusing upon the future,
getting back into the stream of life can break the spell of aloneness.

Take a hint from the lightning bug:
     The Lightning Bug is brilliant,
     But he hasn’t any mind;
     He flies about the universe
     With his headlight on his behind.


One popular author speaks at this point:
"Lose a friend, seek a new one.
Keep cheerful.
Don’t gripe except when no one can hear you.
Don’t keep talking about how tired you are.
If you lack love and affection from others,
give more than your share to others.
If you lack creative expression, pursue a new interest as though your life depended upon it.
If you lack recognition, give recognition to others. Some of it will come back.
If you lack experiences, be planning something all the time.
Get out into the midst of people and discover that they need you as much as you need them."


Over and over again, we are finding out that the only ones who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

Once I visited an old woman, a practical nurse, in the hospital.
Life had been rough on her, and yet she wasn’t about to give up.
She told me about the hundreds of babies she had helped to deliver.
She said, "I never went into a sick room I didn’t see something I could do."

You see, she had joined the human race;
she was on the team;
she was in a cosmic partnership;
she was a part of history:
she was involved in her work;
God was involved in her work;
she had become a part of the healing of the world.

Loneliness can be a rejection of life,
or it can become the challenge to free others from loneliness.
In loneliness some have discovered humanity.

Jesus came out the loneliness of the wilderness with a new lease on life.

Norman Vincent Peale wrote that the antidote for loneliness is “DO”. [D.O.]
He writes:
No one is going to stay lonely very long who does good things for people.
The more you do to make life less lonely and more happy for another,
the less lonely and less unhappy your life will become.
“DO” is a powerful concept in beating loneliness.


The most satisfied life –
the most satisfying times of your life –
come when you do for others.
That’s what Jesus said.
That’s what Jesus did.
That’s what you and I can do.
When you do for another, you will never be alone.

Jesus said “Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life . . .
Instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you.
I’ll be with you as you do this,
day after day after day,
right up to the end of the age.”
Amen.

The congregation of Christ Presbyterian Church in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania, USA, experienced this sermon during a worship service on the 3rd Sunday of Lent, March 11, 2012.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Face Your Temptations Head On

This is really what Lent is about.  
During these forty days, each of us must face our fears –

confront the devils in our lives –

and decide what action we are going to take.


You see, even though Jesus went out into the desert, he knew he wasn’t alone.  
The story begins by saying, The spirit led him.

When confronted by  The Tempter, Jesus knew he wasn’t alone.

AND NEITHER ARE WE.  

The same strength Jesus called on in the wilderness for those forty days, is available to each and every one of us.  
And it is only up to us to decide to call upon it as he did.


Lent is not really about denial –  choosing not to do something (even if it is wicked).  
Lent is about choosing all right,

but about choosing to align ourselves with life. 

We must consciously choose to be for something, not against something.

Deuteronomy 6:12-14,16-17,24-25
Matthew 4:1-11


For some 1600 years – maybe even longer – Christians have set aside this time before Easter as a time of preparation – a time to prepare our hearts and minds and souls for the Easter message.

Today, like most folks, we call this season Spring.
The Romans called this season Lent.
The early church, being so influenced by the Roman culture, called the church season Lent as well.

While we Presbyterians didn’t have much to do with it for some 450 years, most Christians around the world observed Lent for the 40 days prior to Easter each year.  

As you know, 40 days is almost a sacred number with strong Old Testament associations.  
40 days seems to be a long time when you think about it. [It is more than the 30 days we get to accept the special offer of the day that is in our daily mail.]  
It seems that God is saying: “take up to forty days to decide –  
40 days to make up your mind –  which side are you going to be on.”  

Matthew says Jesus was given 40 days to decide  whose side his life would be spent on.
40 days to come to a decision to align with God
or accept the worldly enticements of the Devil that would have derailed his mission.    

40 days seems to be God's time for allowing significant decisions to be made.  
Moses was on Mount Sinai for 40 days getting the 10 commandments.  
Elijah spent 40 days in the wilderness encountering God.  
An extended time was given people of Noah's time to make up their mind before it rained for 40 days and 40 nights.  

The 40 days of Lent gives us sufficient time to make up our minds again:  
to decide for life or death,
to decide for God or the ways of the world around us.

As we begin the season of Lent and begin our preparations for Easter, I have shared these words before about the difficulty, but the necessity, of making decisions, from that eminent theologian, Dr. Seuss.  (Just bear with me here. It is the 108th anniversary of his birthday.)

Perhaps you recognize these words:

Did I tell you before about the Zoad
Who came to two signs at the fork in the road [?]
One said “to Place One”;     the other “Place Two”
So the Zoad had to make up his mind what to do.
Well, the Zoad scratched his head, his chin, and his pants
And said to himself, I'm taking a chance.
If I go to Place One it may be too hot
And how do I know if I'll like it or not?

On the other hand, I'd be some sort of fool
If I go the Place Two and find it too cool.
In that case I might catch a chill and turn blue
So maybe Place One is the best, not Two.

On the other hand though if Place One is too high
I may get a terrible earache and die.
Place Two must be best.

On the other hand though, if Place Two is too low
I might get some strange pain in my toe.
Place One must be best and he started to go.

Then he stopped and said, "On the other hand,
the other hand,     the other hand, though..."

And for 36 hours and a half that poor Zoad
Made starts and stops at the fork in the road
Saying don't take that chance, it might not be right.
Then, he got an idea that was wonderfully bright.

Safe! cried the Zoad,   I'll play safe,   I'm no dunce.
I'll simply start out for both places at once.
And that's how the Zoad who would not take a chance
Got no place at all, with a split in his pants.


You know people like that, don’t you?  
We know people  who are "split-pants" Christians, don't we?  
People who can't decide whether to love rather than hate?
To laugh rather than cry?
To create rather than to destroy?  
To persevere rather than quit?  
To praise rather than condemn?  
To give rather than to receive?  
To act rather than procrastinate?  
To grow rather than rot?  
To serve God rather than Mammon?    

Well, I tell every person I marry that every single day, they must again make the decision to
include the other or not, to choose life or death.  

And this is really what Lent is about.  
During these forty days, each of us must face our fears –
confront the devils in our lives –
and decide what action we are going to take.

When we are tempted, we need to learn from Jesus.  
Jesus confronted Satan head-on.  
This is a story about the Ultimate Reality Show – Who Want’s to Be A Millionaire?, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, and Survivor all rolled into one – Dealing With the Voices of Temptation.
Now, one thing we know about the power of the Tempter is that the more we give in,  the weaker we become.
And, the more we resist, the stronger we become.

The Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

The Spirit led him into the wilderness.
It is a very familiar scene to you.
Jesus had been fasting.
He was hungry.
The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become bread."

Jesus resisting the devil, saying, "It is written, `Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.'"

Then he was taken to the holy city, and set on the pinnacle of the temple and was told, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down;

for it is written, `He will give his angels charge of you,' and `On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'"

Again Jesus resisted the devil, saying, "Again it is written, `You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'"

Finally, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them;
and he said to him, "All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me."
And Jesus said, "Begone, Satan! For it is written, `You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.'"


Now, notice how the story ends, "Then the devil left him, and the angels came and ministered to him." (RSV)

Most of us in this room would agree that LIFE IS DIFFICULT, right?
It is filled with tests, trials, temptations.

You know the Morton Salt girl with her umbrella on all the salt boxes?  
She has been around a long time – I think nearly 100 years.
And, you what the Morton Salt slogan is?
It’s printed on every box of Morton Salt that has ever been sold during those 100 years: (say it with me)   "When it rains it pours."
How many of you have ever quoted that little advertising slogan in a time of crisis?
"When it rains, it pours."
Sometimes it seems that way doesn’t it?
Sometimes it seems that everything goes wrong all at once.

The Good news for you and me is what Jesus found out during his ordeal with the Tempter,
and what the Apostle Paul found out and could write to the Corinthians: “God is faithful and will not let you be tempted beyond your strength.”

Life is difficult.
We read that Jesus was led into the wilderness. 
Sometimes you and I must enter that wilderness as well.

But, the bottom line for us, is the same as it was for Jesus, IT IS IN THE WILDERNESS  THAT WE EXPERIENCE GOD'S MINISTERING ANGELS. 
That is the Good News for the day.
Satan leaves us and the angels come.
Usually those angels are other people.

The Russian writer Dostoyevsky wrote about an experience he had as a boy.
As a child, he loved to walk in the forest on his family's country estate.
Often he searched for mushrooms in the forest. One day, he heard the most terrifying cry a child could hear in that part of Russia.
It was the cry, "Wolf!"
Hearing the cry, “wolf!”,  Dostoyevsky panicked and made his way for a clearing in the woods.
He ran hard and he ran as fast as he possibly could.
He ran right into the arms of an old man who worked for his father.
The old peasant man quieted him and held him for a few moments.
He soothed his fears and reassured the boy that he would walk home with him and keep him safe.

Writing about this incident years later while in prison, Dostoyevsky remembered the gentle touch of this old peasant.
As he reconstructed that experience he realized that in the kindness of that uneducated man he had experienced the comfort of a loving God.
That is the way God most often comes to us –  through other people.
They become God's ministering angels.

Indeed, that is the most beautiful ministry that God gives any of us – to become a ministering angel.
I have had angels minister to me.
So have most of you.
Usually, they are friends, fellow church members, people I already value.
But, sometimes, they are folks I never met before.

You see, even though Jesus went out into the desert, he knew he wasn’t alone.  
The story begins by saying, The spirit led him.
When confronted by  THE TEMPTER, Jesus knew he wasn’t alone.
AND NEITHER ARE WE.  

The Psalmist proclaims, "My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."  
It is interesting that, according to Matthew’s version of this story, Jesus resisted The Tempter with words from taken from Deuteronomy, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God."
He was putting The Tempter  on notice that The Tempter  was confronting not simply man's power, but the very power of God.
That same power is available to you and me.

Jesus was not left all alone in the wilderness –  God was with him.

Jesus knew the promise that was made to him about his relationship with God.

And you and I need to hear the promise made to us.
When we come face to face with the Tempter we don't have to be afraid because God is there with us.

The same strength Jesus called on in the
wilderness for those forty days, is available to each and every one of us.  
And it is only up to us to decide to call upon it as he did.

Life is a continuous series of peaks and valleys, highs and lows, ups and downs.  
None of us can avoid the wilderness experience.  
There are times when our whole world seems cold and drab and empty.  
And it is precisely at these times when our faith becomes most important to us.  

Even though we are frightened in our loneliness and frustrated in our efforts to achieve wholeness of life, we need not panic.  

In the desert of nothingness, life seems absurd, purposeless, meaningless –  
like a big joke being played on us by some external force we do not understand.  
And the only way out,
the only way to discover our life's true meaning and purpose,
the only way to discover who we are and what we ought to do,
is by listening ... listening ... listening to the Christ Spirit of God that dwells in us.

It may take another forty days and forty nights for the Good News to get through to us.  
It may take longer.  
The point is, never stop listening.  
When we stop listening, we are ill-prepared to ward off the danger of panic.  
The nothingness will overwhelm us, and the devil will move in for the kill.

Said the psychiatrist to the patient, "I'm not aware of your problem, so perhaps you should start at the beginning."

Said the patient to the psychiatrist, "All right.  In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth."

The patient's problem is our problem too.  
It is the big stumbling block we encounter as we move through the nothingness toward the Light.  

It is the temptation to try to go it alone.  
It is the misguided notion that we can get through life independently, without God.  
It is the temptation to rely on our own meager resources for answers to the question of the "Why?" of life.
It is the temptation to make little gods of ourselves.

One must say to oneself, "All right.  I did not create the heavens and the earth:
This is God's creation.  
God is the Source of my life."

I need God to tell me who I am, and why I am,
and where I am going with my life.  
I need God to lead me from the exit to nothingness into the Light of the Grand Design.

I need God to tell me where my fulfillment lies.

Away with you, Satan!  
Be gone!  
Say it like you mean it, not just for show!

Lent is not really about denial –  choosing not to do something (even if it is wicked).  

Lent is about choosing all right,
but about choosing to align ourselves with life.  

No amount of don'ts will equal a saint.  
No amount of zeros added up will equal a unit.  
It really seems to me to be the poorest response to God's call when we enumerate the wicked things we decide not to do.  

We must consciously choose to be for something, not against something.  
Friends, during these 40 days before Easter,
let us face our fears, and say yes to God,
as Jesus did in the wilderness.  

May you make appropriate use of these 40 days,
so when Easter comes, we may truly celebrate a never ending joy.
Amen.


The congregation of Christ Presbyterian Church in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania, USA, heard these words during a worship service on March 4, 2012 - the second Sunday in Lent.